Flogging » Songthe Worst Day Of My Life By Flogging Molly
Relationship Communication - Tips For How To Deal With Difficult Family Members During The Holidays
The expectation that the holidays are supposed to be a happy time is all around us. We hear that message from the time we are children and it is reinforced all around us. What if you find yourself dreading the holidays?
Molly dreaded her mother's visits. It wasn't that she didn't want her to come at all. Her mother lived across the country and since she didn't visit often Molly wanted her to get to know the grandchildren and to share her life with her. In the past years the holiday visits were unpleasant because mother ended up finding fault and drinking too much. For Molly the visits would end up with anger and hurt feelings.
Here are seven tips that can help to make the holidays pleasanter.
Tip 1. Plan ahead
Sit down with your spouse or significant other and children( if old enough) and plan how you want to spend the holidays. Talk about the sequence of events, what you look forward to, who does what, and share your worries and concerns.
Tip 2. Discuss the specific worries about the difficult person
Unless you verbalize the specific concerns it is hard to know how you want to handle things this year. The worst thing is not to address it at all. People are creatures of habit and behavior is predictable. What happened last year is no doubt similar to what happened the year before.
Tip 3. Change can only happen in the present
Figure out what you would like to do differently this year. You want to keep in mind that you have no control over another person's words and behavior but you can set limits as to what you expect in your home.
Tip 4 Arrive at an action plan
For instance Molly and her family decided that indeed they wanted grandma to come and visit and added an expectation. Molly told her mother ahead of time that this year there was not going to be drinking at her house. At first her mother was furious and said she would not come at all. Later she said if that was the case she and her husband would stay at a hotel. This plan was agreeable to all.
It also showed Molly that her mother really wanted to come and see them.
Tip 5. Set limits with inappropriate comments
You do not have to put up with criticism and put downs. When it starts, stay calm and speak directly to the offending party and let him/her know in a firm voice that you want those comments to stop. You are signaling that you no longer will tolerate this kind of behavior.
Tip 6 Figure out how to manage your own stress
Are you trying to do too much? Think it through from the perspective of what you need in order to enjoy the holidays. Then make sure that you make it happen. Remember to take care of yourself both physically and emotionally.
Tip 7 Enjoy the holidays!
If you approach the holidays with dread you will act from dread. If your mindset is open to change you are more apt to see it in the people you have dreaded and in yourself.
For more tips and tools on enhancing your relationship please visit: http://www.vibrantrelationships.com and http://www.kristinavonr.com by relationship expert Kristina von Rosenvinge
Source: www.articledashboard.com